Winds of Change

Focus: ~~WIND~~ {{Spirit}}


Affirmation: I am always connected to the Universe, and the Power flows to and through me. The Universe fulfills my every need, and my every desire. I am a powerful spiritual being having a human experience. I know that the Universe and its power lives within and moves through me. My life is always a blessing!


ALWAYS A BLESSING!!!

*SMILE!* You are LOVED!





As I was falling asleep last night, I had some of my best thoughts yet. Granted, I usually have great ones just as I'm about to drift off into the Realm of Dreams... but this one actually made me want to get up and journal it. Sort of wish I had.

My eyelids weighing so heavily against my cheeks decided it, however, and much of what was swirling around in my head at the witching hour of the night... is now gone.

But I do remember... The Winds of Change...

What presaged the thoughts was the excellent day I had... watching friends and "family" all do double-takes when they saw me... actually having some of them convinced I got Breast Augmentation Surgery! (Thank you Victoria's Secret!) Yes, I know this really doesnt belong in my eso&exo-teric journal.... except, it does.

Because it was the cause of my thoughts.

And the one thought that made me mentally sit up last night...

It's easy to love yourself when you've made yourself as attractive as possible. Its not as easy to love yourself when your external visage "needs maintenance".

right on the heels of that one...

To truly love yourself, you must love that self that needs and requires all that maintenance.... and then provide it.

You see, I had gotten stuck... I loved myself, that base self that is toothless, saggy in places, developing wrinkles in others, half blind, yadda yadda yadda...

I had no problems with myself. Yes, I see the bulges, the fat deposits, the ... as mentioned before... the beginnings of wrinkles. I still search for the gray hair... waiting for that defining moment when Nature finally steps up to the plate and says "Ok, its Crone-ville for you! I've THOUGHT I've found one or two, but nothing I could definitely point to and say - ITS GRAY!

But I still loved & love myself.

but no one else saw that - or realized it.

nobody understood that it took OVER 3 years to get to a point where i could unequivocally say... I LOVE MYSELF. and better still.. to be able to say I LOVE MYSELF NO MATTER HOW I LOOK. my love isn't based on my external beauty. And for me, it took being knocked down to my lowest to teach myself as I came back up from the depths...

And now...

I'm starting to let my externals match my internals.

and the side effects of the double takes, the men - young & old - practically breaking their necks as they lose track of what they're doing to stare at me walking past....

and the occasional glare from other women. (GRINZ). No worries Ladies... I'm not after your men. or even you ;)

when you love even the most "vile" version of yourself, it shows - not a lot, but it shows. when you take that love and make your outsides match how you feel - it amplifies your inner beauty and transforms it into outer beauty.

For a long time, I was happy with slow changes... you see, sudden drastic and dramatic change terrifies... terrified (I will not be defined by my past, I will be defined by my potential) me to my core. In most of my experiences, that usually heralded something NEGATIVE.

Not any more (and this is something I am still working on) - change is GOOD.

Its my personal perceptions that make change "good" or "bad".

Take for instance, my grandma passing. That in itself is completely NEGATIVE, right? WRONG. No, I didn't want her life here with us to end! But it did, and her suffering ended. I cried, of course. I mourned - I still do.

She passed, and her spirit shimmered and left the shell that had been holding her back for far too long.

Now, she watches over all of us. And, while the family as a whole has pretty much divided into two factions (that aren't at war, they just dont get together with the other half as much, y'know?), both sides seem to be prospering. Tell me that isn't good!

I've been thrilled to watch an aunt clean up a large part of her act and her progress as she finds her own harmony in the world. Another aunt has found her own two feet and is standing up boldly declaring her right to be an individual entity instead of a wallflower. Another family member has found her joy in cleaving closer to the land; in raising animals for food and the sheer joy of watching them, and planting food to sustain her family through anything. And yet another member... well... she's really hard to define. *smiles* I love her dearly, which makes it more difficult to put any kind of label on her. Stronger than she thinks... smarter than she realizes... and very very blessed, even when she cannot see it. And no, I'm not referring to my daughter - I'm keeping her out of this, as she hasn't reached physical maturity yet and isn't yet privy to the inner circle. i adore my daughter's pure energy, though... it's a shame hormones will soon muddy that energy - well, make it extremely chaotic & volatile for a while....

I also had the great fortune to meet the other member of my family's new "Crafty Circle", another Earth (like me)... this was one of those meetings where everyone sat back and held their breaths... because they knew we'd either hit it off... or hate each other.

We hit it off =D See, both of us (being earth's) are strong minded, and rooted deeply.

she ascribes to The Secret as well, and I turned her on to James Arthur Ray.

and now, Hedge Witch book...
................
and back to the Winds of Change...
.......................
if Gramma hadn't passed, these wonderful ladies would never have gotten together the way they did. And I believe, they wouldn't have been as strong as they are now.

ALWAYS A BLESSING! You are missed, Gramma, but I feel you near...

............................................................

Winds come, winds blow
Winds rush, winds flow

inside my soul, tearing cobwebs deep;
shredding what once made me weak.
change no longer leaves me cold;
the Winds of Fate favor the bold!

Winds come, winds blow
Winds rush, winds flow

..............................................................................

(work in progress... i am working on piecing together my own "Wind ~ Spirit" ritual following some of the guidelines in the book... here, I'm pausing to learn more about the various elements at the four quarters as well as Center-Spirit, so I can be more specific in my calling - as I will be calling the winds - don't want a gale to show up!... once I feel I am prepared, I will set a date and time for the ritual, and perform it. Then, I will move on to "lesson 2")